Cant jokes

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

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  • Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.

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  • So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

    And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

    I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

    Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

    Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

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  • To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

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  • How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.

    I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

    How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.

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  • Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."

    Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."

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