Cant jokes

Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.

Why do orphans like Monopoly?

To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.

What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?

They can't be way too loud.

Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?

They're out of plane sight.