Canning jokes

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

"You can drink drinks, but you can't food foods."

-Sun Tzu, The Art Of Food

You can't see me, but when I smile, you can.

Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

Where can you find the most dads?

Milk Island.

He’s so short no one can see you very close by.

can someone please tell what happened?

Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.