Canning jokes

Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?

A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.

If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).

How can you make a orphans hand bleed?

Real them to clap until there parent come home.

Can you see me?

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?

Of course, houses can't jump.

What do you call a fish that can use a katana?

A salmon-rai.

Is your middle name Fancy Feast?

'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.

El, can you grab me that bow?

Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"

A: So they can look at their a**.

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

What kind of fruit can fix your sink?

A plum-ber.

Why can you never surprise mountains?

They peak.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

My guy: I have a Q-Tip.

Me: You can Q my tip.

My guy: Ayo!

Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.

🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

Anybody can use this :)

Slow and steady wins the race, but it won't fix your ugly face. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?