Canning jokes

What is the difference between a laser beam and a trash can?

A trash can doesn't rage.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

What can hold anything on the moon? A crater.

When someone keeps talking while you are trying to focus on something, what is the rudest thing you can say to them?

SHUT UP!!!

Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.

What always roars, but cannot talk? What always moves, but cannot walk?

A waterfall.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a tap?

The tap can run.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Yes, because a house doesn’t jump.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?

Why do orphans never play baseball?

'Cause they can never find home.

I can tell you a pun about a pencil, oh! Never mind, it’s pointless.

I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!

That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...

Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.

I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.

It’s a job I can see myself doing.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because he can't find his parents.

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

Q: Why can't you run through a campground?

A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!

What’s the difference between Diana and Casper the ghost?

Casper can go through walls, Diana can't.

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

Some people think emo jokes are funny, but I think it can cut both ways.