Canning jokes

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

What thing can an orphan do best?

Stay at home alone.

If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?

Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.

The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"

Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."

The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"

Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."

What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?

They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.

Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...

But a creeper blows it up.

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

Q: Get up for a chair joke!

A: Oh, never mind, you can sit down.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

What can you catch but not throw?

A cold!

My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.

She's not the only one who can play that game.

Why do orphans suck at baseball?

They can never find home.

"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!

Which one do you want to watch? 😀"

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

Why can orphans go to Thacker Jewelry?

They love to see the whole family.

-->[] go through the door if you can.

Son: Mom, can I tell you something?

Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?

Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!

Mom: Well, I made you.

I see 6 letters in "the past."

I have 2020 vision.

I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.

A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.