Canning jokes

Can you f**k out of here?

Karen says:

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

Can disabled enable dark mode?

Why are Asian's dicks too small?

So they can reset the calculator.

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?

They can both flash.

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚

To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.

Why do orphans love Oreos?

Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!

Why do orphans love role-plays?

Because they can call someone "daddy."

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

I can't stand up when I laugh hard; neither can they.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.