Canning jokes

Why do orphans love going to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Yo mama so fat I bet that her fart can clear a room in seconds.

Looking for true love. Must be into fun, likes to go out driving, playing the latest catching game and most importantly, must love kids. (PEADOPHILES MUST APPLY WITH HOW MANY KIDS YOU CAN CARRY!)

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can never hit a homerun.

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"

A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?

A: The pizza can support a family of four.