Canning jokes

Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.

I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"

I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

Can emo kids get happy meals?

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

Why do orphans play tennis?

So they can finally get love.

You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

But at least lemonade came out!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.

Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

She asked:

"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.