Canning jokes
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
Why can orphans not get married?
They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!
I named my dog Stone so that I can say to people that I throw stones every day.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
Memes
I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who can’t.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
73 Earths can fit in Uranus.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.
I have trash so I throw it at my sister and say that she is a trash can.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
Can emo kids get happy meals?
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.