Canning jokes

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

Welcome to Joe's abortion clinic! No fetus can beat us! You make 'em, we take 'em!

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Why do orphans love role-plays?

Because they can call someone "daddy."

Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?

U can vent here idc.

Can you f**k out of here?

Karen says:

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.

I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?

A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.

Why do orphans love going to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?

Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!

What’s bin Laden got in common with SpongeBob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, and they’re filled with holes.

Can disabled enable dark mode?

Why are Asian's dicks too small?

So they can reset the calculator.

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

What animal can jump the highest? The emo kids.

Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.