Canning jokes
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.
What's the difference between Palestine and yo mama?
Yo mama can be found on Google maps.
I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen, I can FEEL it!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Memes
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
What can you break, even if you never pick it up or touch it?
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
Can a guy in a wheelchair be a stand-up comedian?
Why do orphans love going to church?
Because they can call someone "father."
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.
The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never hit a homerun.
Why should China be a baseball team?
Because they can take out the entire world with just one bat!
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.