Canning jokes

You know what would be the best last thing to say before you die? "No, you certainly can't." JFK's assassin certainly can!

How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?

Change your name to "Rape."

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

EVERYONE:

"My boyfriend, Danny, broke up with me. Can some hot guy come, so I can interview them and see if they wanna date me?"

When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...

But they know you're blind.

Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?

They're out of plane sight.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple can trace back its family tree.