Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner
Dad: School is cancelled, I think your teacher died or something Me: Wow they found the body already? Dad: :/
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bed. The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." The father says, "Good bye Grandad? Why is that?" The daughter says, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, Grandad drops dead. The father can't believe the coincidence, but decided not to question it. That night, he listens to the daughter's prayers again. She says, "God bless Mummy and God bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma." The father is shocked again and asks his daughter why, but she says again, "Just because I felt like it." The next day, the Grandma drops dead and now the Father is getting worried but doesn't know what to do, so he tries to forget about it. That night, he listens to his daughter again and she says, "God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy." The father is now terrified and goes to work the next day sweating, cancels all of his meetings, and hides in his office for the whole day. He doesn't go home and stays there until midnight. He's very surprised. 'I've cheated death!' he thinks to himself, then rushes home. His wife asks, "Where have you been?!" and the husband says, "Oh don't ask me any questions, today's been miserable." The wife replies, "Your days been miserable? Well, listen to my day! Firstly, the milk man drops dead on the porch..."
What another name for an Abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
The cold winter night there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men where gay but they did not know. Fili: Fili. Kili: And Kili. Fili and Kili: At your service. Kili: You must be Mr. Baggins. Bilbo: No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house. Kili: What?! Has it been canceled? Fili: No one told us. Bilbo: Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled. Kili: That’s a relief. Fili: Careful with these, I just had them sharpened. Kili: It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself? Bilbo: Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that? Dwalin: Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand. Kili: Mr. Dwalin. Balin: Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in. Bilbo: Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste! One of the Dwarves: Get off, you big lump!
Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. it was a bar seat. they where able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it
Dont see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return. If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too though.
Why do women get periods?
just cancel the subscription
The skeleton cancelled the gallery showing of his skull-ptures because his heart just wasn’t in it.
Michael Has cancelled his upcoming dates. They were tommy age 9, and Bobby, 11
Unfortunately NASCAR has been cancelled. The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring
The British Society of Psychics annual convention had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances!
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.