Button jokes
Like if you're gay.
Dislike if you are lez.
How do you make Indians explode? Press the red button.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
I made a website for orphans. Sadly, it doesn't have a home button.
Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.
Donald faced the other four and orders:
"I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."
Tony jumps off.
"Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."
Francis jumps off.
Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."
Hillary jumps off.
Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."
Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"
Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!
I saw a kid with no phone. I gave him an iPhone 14.
Except it had no home button.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
Why do orphans have an iPhone 10?
Because it doesn't have a joke button.
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day? F5
I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
Orphans maybe got phones, but they don't have a home button.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.
Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?
Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.
Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.
Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.
Me: ...
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
2k14 was so realistic when I switched to Kobe, the pass button stopped working.