Both jokes

Thought

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

Grenade

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.

Wife

My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."

I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."

Hoe

What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

Memes

Leaf

Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

Ben: I don't know.

Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.

Similarity

A: What's the similarity between your girlfriend and the sun?

B: They're both hot?

A: They're both massive.

Gas

What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.

Drum

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

Pussy

What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.

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  • Driver

    What do women and Nvidia have in common?

    They both do not make very good drivers.

    Eagle

    How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

    Because they both have eyes.

    Death

    How are Kobe’s death and people in 9/11 the same? They both hit the ground really hard.

    Pedophile

    What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?

    They both came from behind and crushed them.

    Treasure

    One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.

    After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.

    Friend

    What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.

    Michael Jackson

    What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?

    They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.

    Priest

    What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?

    They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.

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  • Girl

    What's similar between a pregnant 14 y/o girl and the foetus inside of her?

    They both are thinking "My mom's gonna kill me!"

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  • Apple

    What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

    Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

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