Both jokes

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.

What do women and pools have in common?

They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

Not funny, here’s another.

Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.

What do turtles and lesbians have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

Yo mama is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

What does Michael Jackson and a lion have in common?

They're both predators.

What do kids and drugs have in common? I sell both of them.

What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?

Nothing, they're both dead, one painted the walls and the other committed suicide by pressing ALT + F4.

Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.

What do vacuums and your mom have in common?

They both suck.