Both jokes
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
Memes
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
What do strippers and butter have in common?
Both spread for bread.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
How are you and an orphan similar?
Both of your fathers are invisible.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.