Both jokes

Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

What do Nike and the KKK have in common?

They both make Black people run faster.

What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?

They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."

What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.

What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? None, you are both dead on the inside.

What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?

They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?

They both lay pipes in public parks.

In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?

They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.

What's the difference between Paul Walker's car and a petite white girl?

There is no difference.

They both got split open by a huge log.

What do 9-11 and a fighter have in common? They both have a one-two combo.

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

it's not rape if we're both screaming