Get pranked, bozo!
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
If I had a loonie for ever degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?
"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!
It was eloHssA OllEH!!
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house
Moo mooo moooooooo(screaming)
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.
Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
"Jingle bells, Osama smells."
