Bin Laden jokes

What happened when Obama ran for president?

The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.

How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?

I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?

With a degree!

Get pranked, bozo!

I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.

He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.

I asked, "Where are you going?"

He said, "Camp Bin Laden."

I asked, "What do they do there?"

He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."

I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"

He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.

It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.

What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?

It's raining planes! Hallelujah!

Secret code that Bin Laden sent to Obama but couldn't decipher!

It was eloHssA OllEH!!

What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?

Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!

Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

During the election campaign of 2012, we heard about Obama, but we thought they said Osama. So I told my friend, "Grab his gun and let's have some fun." So during one of Obama's campaigns, we both shot him to death, which lasted a while.

Then my friend said, "Let's go get piss drunk at Mavericks bar." Then on TV they talked about Obama's death, and everybody but 2 guys cheered. Then guess what, we loaded our guns and lit those 2 guys up like we did to Obama.

9/11 happened... right?

The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.

You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.

"Jingle bells, Osama smells."

What's Osama bin Laden's favorite song?

"Under the Sea," from The Little Mermaid.