Bigness jokes
"I fancy Hunter, my big sugar daddy," said the orphan, clearly lying.
Big pp suck sook.
Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile.
Big penis.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!
Maishah the poo turned into a fart, which is the big fart monster's best friend. This is her: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🤢🤢🤢💩💩💩💩👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻🐽🐽🐽
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.