Bigness jokes
How do you know when it’s bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
The big hand is on the little hand!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
What's big and yellow and can't swim? A bus filled with children.
Your butt's so big you can slap it and ride the waves.
What's big, round, and can't move?
A vegetable!
What is a big animal 🦓? A bat 🦇!
Maishah the poo turned into a fart, which is the big fart monster's best friend. This is her: 🐷🐷🐷🐷🤢🤢🤢💩💩💩💩👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻🐽🐽🐽
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
What is big and fun and yellow? A school bus!
Why are cows 🐮 so big? To scare babies 👶.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
At every funeral, it's a try-not-to-say-"big mood"-challenge for me.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.
Hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
My name is Big Dick.