Bigness jokes
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
It cost me $100 to ride a taxi over your belly, it was that big!
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Your forehead is so big, Mr. Clean thought he would hire you!
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Guys, why are we being racist? Why can't we love each other, please? Gimme that dick, boy. Please stop fighting. Let's love each other and them big ole dicks, please. Gimme that dick. I hate racism.
Your hairline is so big, it counts as its own planet.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
Your hairline is so big, it's bigger than the universe!
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancée, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that."
So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Same thing goes when you are at bible study with a handsy priest.
Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.
Yo forehead so big it makes Megamind's forehead small.
Your forehead is so big that your name is Humpty Dumpty, the big forehead!
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"