Being jokes
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat?
Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Why do orphans become criminals? Because they want to know what it's like to be wanted.
Why do you think after death the angel says do not be afraid?
Search up biblically accurate angels.
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? It's kinda trippy if I'm being honest.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
Imagine this whole “Dr. Strange jokes” is just full of people simping over him.
Couldn’t Be Me.
Kid says to genie,
"I want to be like Batman!"
Kid goes home, both of them are dead.
Why did the orphan go to rob the bank? Because he wanted to be wanted! >:D
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?