why don't we wrestle bears?
the pain is un-bearable
man: knock knock...
boy: who's there?
man: bear...
boy: ...bear who?
man: bear bottom
the bear walked into the bar and said can i have a cola and a............wisky the bar tender says whats with the big paws
Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank!
What does a bear beat off with? His bear hands
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
What do you call a polar bear with mood swings?
A bipolarbear
Lol
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion
why didnt the bear leave home-------- He could not bear leaving his family
What do you call a toothless bear? ... A gummy bear CAT.co
my ill sis said why did the bear said no to ice cream and I said why she said cuz it stuffed
Three unlucky jungle explorers were captured by a band of cannibals. Whilst being tied to three respective stakes, the chieftain announces that the hapless adventurers were about to die. "After you're dead, you'll be skinned. The skin will be used to increase our canoe armada, and the rest of you will be food for us and our families." This announcement was met with gasps of despair from the bound trio. "There is one small favor I can offer you," the chief went on. "We'll let you choose your own method of death from what we have captured from other explorers". Some of the tribal members begin walking by displaying various implements of war and death. The first explorer chose a crusty looking musket. Thankfully the powder load still fired, and he was dispatched without much fuss. The second chose a knife and quickly drew it across his throat. Both carcasses were hauled off by various tribesmen. The third explorer stood there resolute and deep in thought. After a few moments the chieftain, "There is no escape, you need to decide now, or I'll decide for yo..." "Do you have a fountain pen in any of that junk?" the explorer interrupted? Baffled the chieftain sent two of his men to rummage. They came back bearing the pen and a bottle of ink. When the explorer noticed the ink was Noodler's Baystate Blue, his grin spread from ear to ear. Gathered round the explorer, spears in hand, the cannibals looked on as he was released and set to work filling the pen with ink. Confused, the chief began to speak, "I'm afraid we have no paper and even if you wrote a final letter, we'd have no way of sending it anywh..." Cackling with triumphant glee, the explorer raised the pen into the air and began ramming it into his torso nib first again and again. He then fell upon the ground gasping a death rattle. Horrified, the chief drew close as the man beckoned him for one final word. "But why this painful death? When you had so many other more merciful options?" the chief asked. Laughing, the man gasped his last statement into the chief's ear, "You'll make no boats from me now, and your mouths will be blue for months!"
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield.
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
A bear is like your best mate harry If you stab them They die from a stab wound
You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish. Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA
What is the name of the bear capitol?
Koala Lumpur
A bear walks into bar and ask the barkeep "Can i have a grilled...............cheese" and the barkeep asks the bear "Whats with the big pause" the bears says "Well I'm a bear"
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Bear Grylls is a restaurant.
