Bears jokes
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
How many children does Explain Bear have?
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Hey Explain bear, how would you like to be replaced by #ExplainNibbles the hamster AI?
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.
The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.
The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.
In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
Lionel: Leona, please no more singing your annoying Fuzzy Bear song!
Leona: But I love my song, right Fuzzy?
Fuzzy Bear: I am going to bite you for not letting your sister sing my song!
*Fuzzy Bear bites Lionel*
Lionel: AHHHHHHH
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
What is a Care Bear's favorite job?
Take care of bears.
I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.
In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.