Bears jokes
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
Memes
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummy bear hahaha.
I was walking in the forest with my gf.
I had a Desert Eagle for protection.
A bear jumped out of the bushes; one shot was enough to put my gf down, and it gave me enough time to run away.
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Look for the Gummy Bear album in stores on November 13th, with lots of music, videos, and extras!