Beach Jokes

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

I-I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean, uh!

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!

What did the water say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved!

What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."

Little Johnny went to the beach, found some cocaine, and died. The end.

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

Why couldn't the surfer hang 10?

Because he forgot his feats!

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Bikini.

Bikini who?

Oh, that was just a bikini.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

A small boy went up to a dog fountain? The more you. HAHA gorgeous ddollars of benjamin frnakus wghen hes wearing beakini bea at the beach hahaha.

Why is the sand always pissed off?

Because the sand never waves back!

What does Cinderella wear to the beach?

Glass slippers.

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?

You were hit by a shockwave!

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.