BASIC jokes

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.

Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"

So basically Star25/AG3.0 and GG miller are the same person since I found some evidence.

On one post, AG3.0 asked GG miller what’s his name.

Post right here: worstjokesever.com/community/p/6509c2cbefa8ad0a8dfd8dc5

So gg miller replied, “MILLER IS MY REAL LAST NAME, AND GG IS MY REAL MIDDLE NAME”

So, we already know Star25’s real name is Adrian Gorges because when he had the AG3.0 account, he said that AG stands for Adrian Gorges. And we also can back this up with his tik tok. www.tiktok.com/@adriangorges2010?lang=en

But, there’s an important factor. Gorges can also be shortened to GG.

So, we know that GG miller is AG3.0, but let’s back this up even further. If you search up adrianmiller2010, it pops up with AG3.0’s new account’s videos. Since GG Miller’s name says, “Miller” in it, that means that GG Miller IS ag3.0

So taking all of this evidence, we can conclude that AG3.0’s full name, which is, “Adrian Gorges Miller”.

Lmk if you have any more things abouts ag3.0 so we can expose him even more.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"

Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."

The player says, "Oh, good for you!"

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

Really feeling suicidal is basically having a mental breakdown, but realizing you have nothing nice and sharp to use.

Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?

Because they're basically zombies.

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

"Among Us" is basically a game about betrayal.

The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.

When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.

Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

Ok, so let me tell y'all the lore. Basically, what happened was there's these mfs called Rhys and a guy named Mobrur. Mobrur is a fish basically from Bangladesh and Israel, so he's just a fish because he's Netanyahu's cousin, and Liam is from Australia; he's just a white piece of crap.

Basically, what happened was they knocked up each other because they were drunk and jumping on Netanyahu's beer belly, and it was all just a mess. Rhys is trying to get child support and half property from Fish, but he won't give it because he is nasty and claiming what isn't his, and he said, "No one likes you." So to summarize it, he killed him and is in jail now.

And there he met Mooha and he turned straight, Alhamdulillah! EVERYONE SAY ALHAMDULILLAH! He became straight, then Mooha got knocked up in prison and the guards beat them and they died.

During a show, I once asked the crowd if they were pro-guns, and the majority belted out in approval.

I asked a man in the front row why he was pro-guns, and he gave me the basic “personal protection liberty 2nd amendment” hooplah.

Very seriously, I told the crowd, “I’m pro-guns because I enjoy living in a world with only four Nirvana albums.”

My friend was the only one who laughed.

Okay, so basically I'm monky.

God creates a wasp :)

God: Okay, so make it reeeeally tiny. Like less than half a fly.

Angel: okay... a bug.

God: now give it's face a sword, but it has a hole so it's basically a mouth.

Angel: weird.. but okay...

God: and give it wings.

Angel: eh, not half bad Go-

God: NOW MAKE IT EAT THE BLOOD OF ALL LIVING ANIMALS AND HUMANS

Angel: *shook* o-okay

God: okay. Now make sure whenever a human is bit it feels the pain of a million suns burning it, making it scratch until it bleeds out.

Angel: . - .

God: and make sure it also transfers diseases through the species. Give 'em a taste 'o that! *evil grin*

Angel: *cries*

Angel: *whispers; I'm so sorry..*