Bars jokes

Bar

8 views ·

So, Stephen Hawking walked into a bar—oh, wait a minute! Rewind!

So, Stephen Hawking rolled into a bar......

Bar

2 views ·

A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.

Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.

Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?

Razor

18 views ·

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

Bar

8 views ·

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

Rapper

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!

Rapper

1 view ·

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

Drink

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Cat

12 views ·

When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.

Layla

71 views ·

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"