Bars jokes
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
A blind man walks into a bar...
And then a chair.
And then a table.
I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!
Two Timetravers walk into a bar...
...the bartender then said, "Sorry, we don't serve Timetravers here."
An Irish man walks out of a bar. It can happen.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some UNIVERSAL BARS!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."
John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"
Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"
John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
A man walks into a bar and orders a cardigan and soke.
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.