Bars jokes
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."
A man said his bars are lit. I said no, because mine are fire.
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
And the women look at him as if they have never seen a man walk into a bar before.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"
What gun was used to kill Bin Laden?
An AK-BAR 47.
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
What did the rapper say to the fridge? (Part 2)
“I'm HUNGRY for some BARS!"
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some QUICKSAND BARS.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.