A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
Bars Jokes
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar.
He orders a beer.
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always have BARS on their GPS.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.
His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"
The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count bars like NOBODY’S BUSINESS!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some UNIVERSAL BARS!
Why was the math book sad at the rapper?
Because it knew it couldn't count on his bars.
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop some HOT BARS!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he wanted to drop some HOT BARS in the kitchen!
