Baptism jokes

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

What do you call a Mexican Baptism?

Bean Dip.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.