B.A.L.L.S. jokes

Motherhood

    • Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

  • 1

    • Woman

    • A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.

    One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive,” but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.

    The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes, it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.

    The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.

    At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says.

  • 1
    • B.A.L.L.S. memes

    Baseball Game

    • When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.

    Football Team

    • Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.

  • 1

    • Pregnancy

    • When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

  • 0

    • Yo mama

    • What's the difference between yo mama and German men?

    The balls... German men don't have them.

  • 1

    • Cycle

    • The cycle of Pionel Pessi:

    - Ghosting👻

    - Diving🐬

    - Complaining to teammates😡

    - Complaining to refs🤬

    - Missing sitters🤦‍♂️

    - Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️

    - Proceed to get 🐐 shouts

    - Repeat🔁

    People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭

  • 0