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What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can? 100 dead babies in a trash can. What is worse than that? There's a live one at the bottom. What is worse than that? It eats its way out. What is worse than that? It comes back for seconds.

My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store?Silly daddy

I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back. ANDI still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES.

I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st.. XD

Attention everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future but for now: Goodbye.

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand. Moments after I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday? Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day. Teacher: Why is that your least favorite? Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive. Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures the results come back

UNKNOWN