Back jokes
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.
Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!
Why don’t spiders go back to school?
Because they learn everything on the web.
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
Your hairline went so back, you had to cry to your mama!
Your hairline is so back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
Woah man, you need to take a step back. Your hairline did, so I am sure you can.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.
Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.
Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.