I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
Back Jokes
I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
So, a mom and a dad are having sex. Their daughter comes down and says, "Mommy, Mommy, what are you doing?"
The mom goes, "Uh, we're making a cake. Let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow."
So the next day they go to the park, and two teens are going at it in some bushes, and the little girl goes, "Mommy, Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
So they go home, and the mom tucked her into bed and says, "Tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo, and two monkeys are going at it, and the girl goes, "Mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes, "They're making a cake. Let's go back home."
And so they go home, and the girl goes, "Mommy, did you and Daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says, "N-no, why?" And the little girl goes, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
When Drake was making the song "Back to Back," he was referring to your hairline.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
What has 148 teeth and🥴🥴 holding back a monster? My zipper.
Ugly face dude: Hi kiddo!
Kid: Hi kid. Leaves.
Kid turns back and says: Wait a minute, who are you?
Your hairline looks like the stairway to hell.
Bent and far back.
Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
What's worse than dedicating your life to build back the towers? Doing it and getting terrorized for it...
Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
