When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Why is the Moon red today?
The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
Black holes and horny black women have 1 thing in common, they suck everything in sight.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
