Bully...you such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger
so a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him he was about to jump until he saw from a mountain side a little guy with no arms dancing around so he thought maybe my life aint so bad so he went to the mountain side thank you he said i was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until i saw you dancing even though youu have no arms dancing? the armless man said bitterly my asshole itches and i cant scratch it
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom
If You're In A Roast Battle With A Homophobe And They Are Talking Mad Shit Just Say:
"The only thing looser than your mouth is your asshole!"
A teacher is doing an experiment, about taste. she tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. she gives Suzy a pineapple one, Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. that is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn, the teacher hands him a honey flavor one, Jhonny chews it for a while, then says, "Teacher, I don't know what it is.". the teacher tries to give him a hint and says "it's what you parents call each other when your alseep". immedietly the boy behind Jhonney screams "spit it out Jhonny it's an asshole!!!"
Little Johnny walks in on his grandfather smoking a cigar. “May I smoke a cigar?” Asks Johnny.
The grandpa replies “Well, does your dick touch your asshole?”
Johnny replied “No.” and left the room.
The next day Johnny sees his Grandpa getting into a car.
“Can I drive the car?” Asks Johnny.
“Does your dick touch your asshole?”
“No.”
The day after that, Granpa sees Johnny about to eat a cookie.
“Johnny, may I have some of your cookie?” Asked the grandpa.
“Does your dick touch your asshole, grandpa?”
“Yep.”
“Then go fuck yourself, this is my cookie.”
2 fe male mouse met and one spoke yesterday I met a mouse he was black and he had wings and he had some cool sharp teeth he said he only at night
other mouse : ummm...thats a bat
that asshole he told me that he is a pilot
A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
my grandpa is an asshole,the fucker deserved to die,the son of a bitch was using his life support,and i needed to change my iphone.
“Well,” he says, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screams, “Don’t eat it! It’s a fucking asshole.”
Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause fuck you that's why
A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked, he thought "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened" so he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her. Wonder Woman stood up and said "What was that?" the Invisible man said "I don't know but my asshole stinks"
i put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it but instead i got bit by ants
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guys asshole?
He said “Fuck this shit!”
Asshole
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me "Yeah I can read braille". So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read "Screw you, asshole"
Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
