Newest Assault Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun now to the assault rifle.

A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students she was charged with Interpreting black police officer

Anonymous
01/22/20(Wed)02:16:13 No.819003901
I just got released from prison. Four years. I robbed a
fucking bank but plead down to aggravated assault.
Money's gone. Fucking dye packs. Oh well, could
have been 20 so no complaints.
Now what do? Drive a truck?
>>819004027 # >>819004077 # >>819004321 # >>819014798 #
: Anonymous
>>819003901 #
Here's what you do
>start youtube channel
>your very first video is going to be you sitting in front
of a high quality camera looking presentable
>half the screen is going to show a videogame
>title of the youtube video: "REAL Bank Robber
Critiques GTA5 Bank Heist Mission"
01/22/20(Wed)02:26:13 No.819004321
>you're gonna commentate over the gta5 intro and
say shit like "yeah thats pretty realistic they'd have
alarms like that"
>pause the cutscene every now and then and say
some shit like "back when i hit the bank, the cops
were on us much quicker than this, so im not sure
this is entirely accurate"
>your next videos are going to be you critiquing
similar scenes from other games or movies
>then your videos are going to be QandA about
prison life
>before you know it you're at 350k subs and growing
and all you do is talk into a camera about prison
>enjoy making more money than all of us

AN ASSAULT RIFLE BOW
THAT FIRES SWORDS
Your argument is invalid
VERY DEMOTIVATIONAL.com

Unicorns

Woman: Doctor doctor I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you

What did the rape victim give to her rapist?

Head

your mum is so ugly she tried to join a ugly competition they said sorry no pervecinoals

Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathise with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

A Man: I must confess father Priest: what are you her to confess A Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son Priest: and what happened to your son A Man: He said a man raped him Priest: when and where did this happened A Man: a local church, idk which one Priest...by whom? A Man: A priest he said, he said the priest had black hair and blue eyes. kind of like you Priest: ...shit

girls locker room: omg, i'm so
tired, the test was so hard
boys locker room:
ASSAULT VEHICLE ACQUIRED

A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,

"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

lmao

What's the difference between a brand new Oldsmobile and a brand new Raping?

.......Rape.

What do you do if you see someone raping your girlfriend? Help out. There is no way she can fight both of you. Then, find the poor man a lawyer.

A man assaulted me with milk,cheese,and butter. How dairy.

What did the female rapist say at her hearing? Well that boys dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say 'my body my choice'

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers and gunpoint forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you pendu! 🤬🤬