A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other and a desk strapped to his back. A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir"
how did sally die (how) she got shot
Why did Ross fall of the swing Because he had no arms
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
My girlfriend lives a few miles away from me. The other night, she called me at around 3 AM. She was terrified. She said that there were two armed gunmen in her apartment. With all that adrenaline going through my system, it made it hard to go back to sleep.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous",
I'm dying to live forever !
Why couldn't sally open the fridge
Because she had no arms
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? BOB What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult "I know the whole truth" they will be all weird so he went home and told his mom "I know the whole truth" and she gave him 20$ and said to keep quiet. Pleased when his dad got home he said "I know the whole truth" and his dad gave him 40$ an said don't tell mom. really pleased he met the mailman the next day and said "I know the whole truth" then the mailman got down on his knee opened his arms and said come to daddy.
A man is walking on the deck of a cruise ship, when he sees a woman, without arms and legs, crying. The man says "What's wrong?" The woman says "I've never been hugged before." So, the man gives her a hug and walks away.
The next day, the man sees the woman, on the deck, crying again. The man says "What's wrong, now?" The woman says "I've never been kissed before." So, the man gives her a kiss and walks away.
The next day, the same thing occurs. The man says "Oh, for Christ's sake! What's wrong, this time?!" The woman says "Well, I've never been fucked before." So, the man picks her up, throws her into the ocean, and yells "YOU'RE FUCKED!"
Their was a enemy with a machine gun. My commander said "Un-arm the enemy". So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
Why did sallys pizza get cold, because she has no arms.
What is your arms favorite military branch? The army.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An UN-ARMED skeleton
why was the T-rex so angry?You would be angry too,if you’re arms were to short to masterbaute.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
a man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm the bartender asks what he wants the man says i would like one beer for me and one for the rode
