Argument jokes

Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.

The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"

One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?

Call her on the phone.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

"Wait, I can explain everything!"