Ares jokes
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
One day there was a boy who needed the toilet, so he goes to his teacher and asks if he can go to the toilet. The teacher says "yes, but before you go, what are the first 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy replies, "I don't know, miss..." The teacher says that he will have to wait.
Later, the boy goes home to his mom who is on the phone. He asks, "What is the first letter in the alphabet?" His mom says, "Oh, shut up!" So the boy goes to his dad who is playing darts and says, "What is the second letter in the alphabet?" His dad says "180!" So the boy goes to his sister who is playing with her Barbies. The boy asks, "What is the 3rd letter in the alphabet?" The sister says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The next day, the boy goes to school and needs the toilet again, so he goes to ask if he can go, and the teacher says, "Yes, but before you go, what are the 3 letters in the alphabet?" The boy says, "Oh, shut up!" The teacher is angry about that, so she says, "What is the second one?" "180!" says the boy, and the teacher asks him where he is from, and the boy says, "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"
The end.
All these jokes are pen-ful to read.
Wow, all these jokes are humerus!
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.
How many fat people are in my house?
20, counting the kids in the basement.
People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.
In a white van.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")