Ares jokes
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.
Jokers are all about the delivery.
Except abortion jokes...
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses.
His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?"
"Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles at traffic, it slows down.
Why can't ghosts stay happy? Because they are too skeletal.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
Because they lost to Towers.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Hi Freshfry, hi Alex, I did not see your messages yesterday because I was at my brother's soccer game, and then people came to our house till 11:00. Lol, sorry :)
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
All of these are funny. Why are they the "worst jokes ever" lol?
Hi, I'm Nate. How are you guys doing?
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"