Appearance jokes

What is the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower?

Slick her hair back, she looks 15.

"You're fat as a cow."

"......."

"Nope."

I just roast all of your chins because I don't know which is uglier.

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.

Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"

Yo, hairline as long as George Washington's date of birth.

Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.

Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, they don't laugh.

What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?

A feminist has hair.

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.

Yo hairline caused corruption.

Me: Your ugly...

Person: I'm not your mirror...

Me: I never told you to be my mirror :p

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

Your hairline is so ugly it looks worse than your mom's.

Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.