Appearance jokes

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

"You is so black your mama fainted."

You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

When the ugliest cat looked at you, then you search up the ugliest thing in the world, you show up.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.

Yo, hairline go so far back they got their own fashion type.

You're more uglier.

Your hairline is so hideous that Derrick White's hairline envies yours.

Your friend is so fat, when he took the group pic, he was the background.

Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?