Appearance jokes

I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.

Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."

So my ex, who wouldn't leave me alone because she thought I was the best person in the world even though Will has a better haircut than me, but anyway, when we broke up she said I was the worst person she ever met, and I told her she looks like a cross between a beaver and a mole rat.

Then I told her she has the Wendy's logo haircut and then some other things I'm not gonna say. 2 years of bullshit, I was done.

Anyways, she cried lol.

Me: What did one toilet say to the other?

You: What?

Me: You look flushed!

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

Yo mama is so ugly that even scammers wouldn't go after her money.

Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.

A telescope has two uses:

1. To look in space. 2. To see your hairline.

You have more chins than a Hong Kong telephone book!

What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?

A feminist has hair.

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Yo momma so fat, she glues together rags as clothes.

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.

I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?

Ugly.

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.