App jokes

2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.

Which do you choose?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I did app.

I did app who?

You did a poo.

I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.

She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.

Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!

Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.

Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.

Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.

Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂

How many apps did he download?

Well, he did run out of storage.

I got jealous when my phone died.

What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.

I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

What type of clock is both cringe and an app?

TikTok.

What dating app do people in Alabama use? Ancestry.com.