App jokes
Is Gwen still on this app thing?
Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?
Because they aren't family!
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Why don't orphans have Life360?
Because parents won't track them.
Too good to be true.
Their family portrait is also a dating app.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did app.
I did app who?
You did a poo.
The orphanage was open in apps, but I didn’t see the home button.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
What's an emo's least favorite game?
Cut the rope.
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
People be like: "What happened to Fruit Ninja? It was on your phone."
Me: "I upgraded, now I can play on my pro max thigh/wrists."
What type of clock is both cringe and an app?
TikTok.
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.