App jokes
2001, Angry Birds was so amazing. Over 500 people in 2 birds.
Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?
Grandma isn’t responding. Close app, wait, cancel.
Which do you choose?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I did app.
I did app who?
You did a poo.
I am deciding to do songs on this app... so I am a type songs. If you want a specific song typed I will type just comment!
Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?
They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she’d had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she’s holding her cell phone with a calculator app open. I took note of her wallet inside a picture of what appeared to be 10 guys. I asked and she said that’s my fam as well. I noticed an Alabama driver's license. I asked which one was her dad. She said that she doesn’t talk to him anymore because he had sex with the boss’s daughter. I casually asked what he did for work. Self-employed? She said that’s the last time I use ancestry.com!
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I ought to complain to Spotify for you not being named this week’s hottest single.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
I got jealous when my phone died.
What’s a guy with Tourette’s favorite app to use? Tiktok.
I was on a website doing homework, and there was this funny a** commercial banner saying: "Eat a bag of Dick's!" It was the funniest sh*t ever!
Best pick up line EVER.
There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
What type of clock is both cringe and an app?
TikTok.
How did the skeleton know it was about to rain?
"Because he felt it in his bones?"
No,
He read the weather app, you idiot.