Anymore Jokes

Me: Knock knock....Friend: who's there? Me: I don't know anymore

"Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore."

"Why not?"

"He keeps peeing in the pool."

"Well, all kids pee in the pool."

"Not from the diving board!"

Me and a person downtown.

Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.

Me: I guess so.

Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?

Me: I don't know. I used too, but don't anymore.

Person: why'd you stop?

Me: unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.

Everything is so racist these days, you can't even say black paint anymore. You now have to say "Tyrone can you please paint that wall"

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore?

They are a total rip off.

Bully : shut up and give me your money otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin Boy : haha I am not a virgin anymore Bully : haha nice joke Boy : if you don't believe then ask your sister or brother Bully : hah I don't have any sibling Boy : will just wait for 9 months then u will know

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

Knock knock

Who's there

Insomnia

You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can 't cry myself to sleep anymore...

Most states:

"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."

Alabama:

"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore