My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
Rey: Join me Ben you don't have to be alone anymore, join me. Ben: But Rey, Ive always been solo.
Why can't Trump go the White House anymore? Because it's forbiden!
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore
Turns out it was just a phase.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?" "Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why do white people own a lot of pets? Because they're not allowed to own people anymore.
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke life fucks your until you stop breathing,a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore
Today my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings and when my brother walked past my mom asked me a question "what do you think of going through kids heads during a school shooting " That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom "bullets" we don't talk about this anymore
when you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead then you fail at suiciding-
Bully : shut up and give me your money otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin Boy : haha I am not a virgin anymore Bully : haha nice joke Boy : if you don't believe then ask your sister or brother Bully : hah I don't have any sibling Boy : will just wait for 9 months then u will know
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book. Man 2: aww books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore. Man 1: She was in the road and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? A. Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Some locked me out of my house today.... At least the children in my basement aren't my problem anymore
Pokemon:Why was Hypno so energetic? He wasn’t Drowzee anymore.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho chees- Okay I can't do this anymore.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her. "Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fullfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore? Because all the Mexicans that can run swim or jump are already here.
