ANS jokes
What animal jumps the highest?
An emo kid, some of them are still up there.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
What’s red and goes 90 miles an hour?
What's the difference between an orange?
A hippopotamus riding a four-door motorcycle.
Why can’t an orphan play GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What does an apple and an orphan have in common?
One gets picked.
Why did I give the orphan an iPhone 14?
Because there is no home button.
I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
I gave an emo kid money.
He gave me the great depression.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because no one came back with any.
Wanna know what an orphan's least favorite song is?
"More Than My Hometown."
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
Cotton gets picked.
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
Why does an orphan like The Beatles? Because it's family friendly.
Everyone: "Look, it's Superman!"
Me: "No, it's an emo."
Everyone: "Oh."
We were watching a 9/11 documentary in class.
I started playing the Angry Birds theme song. That didn't fly well with people, the teacher yelled at me like a bomb, and I landed on the ground.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.