ANS jokes

Why can’t an Orphan play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw them some laundry.

Why does an orphan commit a crime?

Because it wants to be wanted.

What's the similarity between an emotional and a leaf?

The emo is still hanging.

Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!

When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.

So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

This was the best day of my life.

This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?

One has a home to run to.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually comes back.

When the police caught him stealing batteries, he was immediately charged.

The cops are accusing him of resisting. He's now languishing in a cell, where he is currently awaiting an appearance in Circuit Court.

What’s the best part about fucking an emo chick?... she's limited edition.

What is an emoticon's favorite dessert?

An emochi. (search up mochi)

Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?

When he is dead.

What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?

An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.