ANS jokes
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
What is a fish's favorite fruit/vegetable?
An avacodo.
What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
I was in bio when my teacher asked what would happen if all predators were gone in an ecosystem.
The kid in the back raised his hand and said, "So what IS gonna happen to you?"
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?
If their grade was only an A.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an Aussie bloke in Bali?
Both are expert drunks, but the Aussie is 100 times better kept. Johnny Depp, in contrast, looks like a demented leader of a violent drug cartel.
Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.