ANS jokes
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.
Bully: You're so short you hand-glide on a chip.
Short person: Well, at least I don’t look like a giraffe that just came out of an oven!
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
What do you call a flying bus?
An Airbus.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
Why do we name hurricanes?
To keep an eye on them.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What is an orphan's favorite day?
Tomorrow: that is when the sun will come out.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An embarrassed biracial guy.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
Ganesha is an elephant.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.