ANS jokes
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Teacher: We have a new student. He's an orphan.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Student: His parents.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
You know I want an ADHD cure.
When?
Squirrel!
What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?
Fresh roadkill.
Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
I gave an orphan an iPhone XR because it does not have a home button.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked up.
An autistic kid hit me, so I kicked him back and he died.
Why doesn't Africa have pharmacies?
Because you can't take drugs on an empty stomach.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?
They are both going to be hanging from a tree.
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.