ANS jokes
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized.
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
Q: How are Clocks like Pedophiles? A: They both stop at 12.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything.
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.
Here's what to do if an annoying person keeps talking to you. First, ignore them until they ask you if you're going to respond. Then ask them: if they were walking down the street and a rabid dog suddenly started barking at them, would they get on all fours and bark back? After that, continue to ignore them.
What's the difference between an orphan and Daniel Larusso?
At least Daniel has a mom.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
A bullet is like an arrow.
Nothing can stop it from going through your head.
Why would you shoot up an innocent school... if your aimbot's dead and you can't commit headshots only?
What's an orphan's high school nickname? "Lone Stone."
What's an orphan's favorite Spiderman movie?
"Spiderman: No Way Home."
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."