ANS jokes
Me: You know your parents were very good people.
Orphan: Wow, I didn’t know that.
Me: I know, you're an orphan.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Yo mama!
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
What do you call a group of Emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What jumps and never let's go?
An Emo kid.
I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.
Dead.
Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?
The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap till their parents come home.
Why do orphans live in an orphanage?
Answer: Because they are wanted there.
My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.
I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.
I love working at an orphanage.
Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?
Me: Oh, I wan-
Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.
Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
A friend asked what an acorn is.
I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?