ANS jokes

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! ๐Ÿคฌ๐Ÿ˜ก

My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.

My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!

I was in my first space mission for NASA. As we were orbiting the asteroid belt, I saw a figure. I couldnโ€™t tell who it was, but he spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. He said, โ€œIโ€™m looking for my freekicks and penalties, can you help me find them?โ€ We then decided to aid him.

You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?

Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น

That's if you even have an account. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น